


Avatars of Humanity

by Zivlok



Series: 64k - A Randomly Generated Homestuck Shipping Bonanza [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Multi, hot ashen quadrant action
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-04-12
Updated: 2012-06-07
Packaged: 2017-11-03 12:41:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/381448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zivlok/pseuds/Zivlok
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"One, a robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. Two, a robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. And three, a robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws." - Iron Chef Bobby Flay</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Part 1 of my Homestuck Shipping Extravaganza! Refer to the previous story in this series for info on what the hey is going on here.

EB: you know Jade  
EB: when Dirk said he could build your robot back for you i was really excited!  
EB: i mean, I was mostly happy for you  
EB: since half the time, she was you?  
EB: or something?  
EB: and so, half the time, I was talking to her?  
EB: and then Aradia did... something and was able to get her original personality and data or whatever and put it in the robot  
EB: and even though it'd be kind of weird to have two Jades running around  
EB: we were all happy for you  
EB: we didn't realize until later that taking a dreambot and making her fully autonomous wasn't necessarily a good idea.  
EB: maybe if we had  
EB: you'd still be alive


	2. Chapter 2

Darkness.  Darkness is all you see, all you know.  If "know" could even be a word applied to you - knowing often implies some level of cognizance, some level of being alive.  Of course, you were never truly alive, even though you felt like it.  In fact, it could be argued that with as much time as GOOD NICE ME YES FRIEND US GOOD Jade spent sleeping, you were more alive than her!  However, this is a needlessly complex and introspective train of thought for someone who can't actually think.  So, where were we?

Right. Darkness.  Lots and lots of darkness. Whoo boy, is it dark.  And silent.  And possibly cold and other adjectival metaphors for non-existence.  In fact, you are so enveloped in the dark you have no idea it is dark.  You never knew anything else, even though you technically don't know anything at all, and you don't even know that you don't know.

It begins, not as light, but as sound.  Something... familiar.  A high-pitched, undulating whine, very quiet at first, so quiet it seems like just another texture to the all-encompassing silence.  Eventually, though, it grows louder, and you begin to concentrate on it.  This act of concentration causes other senses to flare to life, dully, at first, but with increasing intensity.

Touch - the cool, coarse cement beneath your feet, ever so slightly slick.

Smell - the wave of nostalgia rises higher as sea salt attacks your olfactory senses.

Taste - not nearly as strong as smell, but you can sense a lingering air of salt all around you, mixed with the slightly different taste of perspiration, and... fumes of some sort? Possibly ethanol?

Sight - for the first time, in a long, long time, light.  That's all you can see, but does one ever need to see more than light? To know it exists?  It is still dim, but it is there, just beyond some unknowable distance.  But most of all, you are inundated with

Sound - a high pitched, repeating cry.  Both plaintive and mournful, both greedy and filled with longing.  You know this sound.  You know who, no, what makes it.  This sound has been with you your whole... existence, whatever that may have been.  May be.  Will be.

 

 

The cry of the seagull wrenches your eyes open.  Your ocular processors are inundated with photons, the amount of which surprises you so much you tumble backwards.

"Woah there, if you fall on the wrong piece of equipment, we're going to be up to our gog-damned hips in robo-shrapnel," says a voice, as SOFT WARM FRAGILE MINE NO HERS MAYBE hands pull you back up to what feels like a standing position.  "We'll be professional robo-shrapnel waders."

"Won't need any swim floaties," says another, similar voice. "Leave our life vests behind so maybe Leonardo DiCaprio doesn't freeze to death."

"We got this shit on lockdown." responds the first voice.

"The shit is so locked down it's been compressed and aged into coprolite."

"Gonna make a gog-damned killing selling coprolite to a bunch of mentally-ill crocodiles."

"Bitches need their phosphate like you wouldn't believe."

"Will you two nookspindlers rest your wind nozzles for five fucking seconds while we behold the miracle of new life or some crap?" cries a third voice, harsh and loud.  Slowly, some of the light is receeding from your vision, and blotches of darkness are revealed, blotches that slowly take on more cohesive shapes.  One of the blobs moves toward you, hesitantly.

"Um," the mass of polygons begins to say, but IT'S HER IT'S ME JADE GOOD NICE PRETTY JADE LOVE JADE ALMOST AS MUCH AS JADE JADE ME JADE HER WE US YES

"Jade!" you cry, voice filled with happiness.  Or that's what you meant to do, but your jaw creaks and makes a terrible scraping noise, and all that comes out is "skrrreeeeeeeeeDuh".  All of the masses of colour move away from you slightly, an instinctual reaction.  All but one, who steps closer.  You try again.  Your jaws work better, but somewhere, a fan starts up to combat the rapid overheating as your systems are inundated with information.  "whirrrrrrrAde!"  The figure nods, encouragingly.  You try once more. "Jade?" you say, and she responds with a giggle, and a warm embrace.

"Hi, my dreambot! It's so good to see you again!  Though I guess I can't really call you 'my dreambot', can I?"

A figure of green with large wavy skull protrusions speaks up. "According to my research, a good name for her would be 'Jadebot'."

"Jadebot. Jade _bot_. _Jade_ bot. Jaaaaaydbaaaaaaht," you say, testing the name out.  You don't really like it.  "I don't -" you start to say, when you are cut off by one of the first voices.

"Gee, thanks, Trollthy Ann."  The first two voices quickly get into a heated discussion of something called "bus-shipping", and decide to compare their favorite fanarts later.  Your vision is now almost fully restored, and you can tell that the first two voices belong to Dave and... other Dave?  Dave has some pretty nice pajamas on - they look really comfy.

 You realize that Jade is still hugging you.  You awkwardly manuever your arms up and attempt to replicate the embrace.  A surprisingly inebriated Rose appears seemingly out of nowhere and says "It's cool, gurlllll, Dirk says your arms will be fushion - funkyshin - functonion - working at full carpaci - captazity - working well soon."

"Oh, okay!" you say.  Jade stops hugging you, and you notice a slight air of awkwardness as she does so.

"So, Jadebot," she says, and you start to say "I don't really li-", but she plows onward.  "There's something I really need to know before we do anything else."

"Um, okay!" you say cheerfully.  You are always willing to help out NICE GOOD ME JADE ME NO HER US.  "What is it?"

"Aradia said this might be difficult for you, but... What do you remember?"

You stop and think.  Mostly you remember flying around the island, playing awesome bass lines, and chatting with YOUR NO JADE'S NO MINE NO OUR friends.  You tell Jade this, and she seems relieved - a tension you had noticed, but couldn't quite name, visibly slips away from her.  "However..." you say, "there's something strange, right at the end of my memory banks, just before I..." You pause.

"Wait.  What happened to me?"  Everyone looks uncomfortable, except the green-clothed person with the gray skin and wavy horns.  She starts to say, "Well, in chronological order, first the Sovereign Slayer cut Prospit's chain - well, really, first he killed the Black Queen and took the - well, to be historically accurate and complete, I should mention-"

"You blew up, Jadebot," says Jade, and you don't even try to protest your name.

"I... I what?" You start to feel nervous. Very nervous.  Your whole body starts shaking, and an invisible pressure seems to be pressing in on you.  "I-I-I explodededed? Whyyyyyyy would I-"

"You saved me," says a new voice.  "You sacrificed yourself to save me."  The voice is alien, yet comforting, somehow familiar.  The voice belongs to... belongs to...

"JOHN!" you cry, and rush forward to hug him.  You stumble, but he catches you. "John john john you were falling and I no it wasn't me but it was me and flying and catching and threw you and you're alive and I exploded and I'm alive and and and -" You stop.  "And you're _old_!"

Everyone cracks a smile, and John laughs.  "I'm only seventeen, Jadebot."

"I don't really want to - wait," you say, "can you say that again?"

"Um, I'm only sevente-"

"No, the last bit!"

"...Jadebot?"

You like the way he says it. You like it a lot.  You smile and give him a tight, warm hug. "I am so glad to see you! Again! Wait, no not again, but... there's so much I want to show you on Pr... on the island!"

"Well, there's some things we should explain to you first," says John, smiling warmly, as he leads you out of the room.  You stare at his warm smile and manly stubble, and don't notice the rest of the room exchanging nervous glances.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everytime I write in second person, I automatically want to append every few paragraphs with "To give John a hug, turn to page 13. To give Jade a hug, turn to page 74. To give Roxy a hug and steal a sip of her martini, turn to page BLUH."


	3. Chapter 3

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --  
  
TG: yo egbert we need to talk  
EB: yeah?  
EB: whats up, dave?  
TG: you know exactly whats  
TG: nevermind  
TG: look i know that part of your whole thing is avoiding uncomfortable truths like you were the worlds worst pong player and the truths were that fucking square ball thing  
EB: that was a stretch.  
TG: i know  
TG: but case in point  
TG: point is we need to talk about jadebot  
EB: okay?  
TG: honestly bro  
TG: youre creeping us all out  
EB: haha what do you mean?  
EB: shes just very friendly is all! :)  
TG: john  
TG: if thats honestly your idea of what friendliness is  
TG: i mean jegus christ dude i knew you were a late bloomer but i thought youd hit puberty by now  
EB: oh, shut up dave  
EB: you know i've done... that  
EB: and yeah jadebot might seem a little overeager or whatever  
EB: but shes just trying to be friendly!  
EB: she is a robot after all  
TG: and you think that stops her from having feelings  
TG: really  
TG: you do realize that half the time when we were talking to jade btg we were talking to her dreambot right  
TG: not to mention all the robots dirks made  
EB: look i know that, jeez dave!  
EB: i just think shes very friendly, is all  
EB: and a little friendliness never hurt anyone! :)  
TG: whatever man  
TG: just  
TG: be careful alright  
TG: being dead or doomed can do things to you  
TG: look at jadesprite  
TG: or that whole thing with davesprite and terezi  
EB: ewwwww i dont want to hear about that >:(  
TG: yeah yeah i know i was just making a point  
EB: well thank you for looking out for me, dave!  
EB: you are the best bro a bro could ask for  
EB: but i honestly think theres nothing to worry about, haha!  
TG: okay bro  
TG: just  
TG: know that weve got your back  
TG: just in case  
EB: haha yup!  
EB: besides, shes a pretty nice girl  
EB: so even if we did have  
EB: a thing  
EB: its not like thatd be a problem at all, right?  
TG: wait what  
\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased being pestered by turntechGodhead [TG] --  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]  
EB: godDAMMIT jadebot!  
EB: dave?  
EB: daaaaaaaave?  
EB: okay, that's it.  
EB: i have to talk with her.  
\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll add formatting when I get around to it. For now, please imagine the colours. It's better this way. Trust me.


End file.
